SWEET Relief From The Onslaught of Gnats

I note that the summer is beginning to shape up as a bad one in the gnat department. You go out in the garden and are swarmed about the head with gnats, as you swat and swipe and spit air at them to try and chase them away. It doesn't work. They are relentless, and this is what we define as pestilence in some sense of the word.

I'm going to make your life easier on the cheap. One remedy, or rather, treatment ... which I discovered from a seasoned farmer's wife years ago (during a similar fishing season cursed with the little, annoying wankers) was something ubiquitous that you would never expect: vanilla extract. Better yet, I found that imitation vanilla extract works just as well.

When I was a trout fishing guide and the battle with gnats was a daily grind, this little tip changed the paradigm, and rescued me over and over and over, along with countless clients on the stream. It's simple ... just rub the extract all over your face and neck and "POOF" ... gone. Literally, they disappear, leaving you with no chemical residue and best of all, smelling like a cookie. Now, this doesn't last all day and in fact, you do have to reapply often, but I tell you, it works wonderfully.

To make things easier, I used to keep a large bottle of imitation extract in the car but carry some in a small, re-purposed Afrin nasal spray bottle in my fishing vest, and just replenish that dispenser when needed.

This morning, in the near ninety degree, humid sun, I schlepped some along on the morning dog adventure and dosed myself before the hike. Not a single gnat came anywhere near my face. Oh yeah ... thank you, seasoned farmer's wife. I remember that conversation like it was yesterday:

"Hot one today..."
"Yep."
"Boy! These gnats this year! Terrible!"
"Don'tcha know how to fix that?"
"???"
"Oh, fer cripes sake! A big fisherman like you? VANILLA EXTRACT! Whatdaya livin' in the Dark Ages?"


Not any more.